I thought this picture was suiting because it is me in my most natural state. Stripped of make-up and jewelry and hair being done. I have gotten so used to hiding behind things not allowing my true beauty to shine. I wrote this poem during a time when I was struggling with my Christian identity. I have never lost the faith and wanted to turn back to the dark side, but I have just been faced with a lot of doubt and fear and frustrations. I see so many people living a worldly life: not going to church on the regular, not paying their tithes, going to the club or drinking and partying all night, and think they seem happy and successful. Living in nice homes with nice cars and always shopping. Just once in my life I would like to buy something with saving for weeks or moving bills around to manage. Anyway, I know the bible speaks against a life not centered around him and to be perfectly honest, i don't want to live any other way. I just get frustrated from tome to time. That's why I write poetry, to give reverence to God and let him know that I know and respect his word and will live my life accordingly. Hope all enjoy the poem.
I received an invitation today
With an overly elaborate design and display
Adorned with many regal words to say
"It's a party, join us if you may!"
I began expressing excitement and despair
Questioning what shoes and color dress to wear
What about make-up, who will do my hair?
Who will I see, who will be there?
Upon arrival I didn't feel as expected
Not liking the sight and sounds being projected
Appalled to the manner I was being subjected
An invitation I should have surely rejected
I didn't tarry in that company long
Even though the night was yet young
No longer wanting to dwell among those doing wrong
And be soaked in a stinch so sickenly strong
I thought there'd be no harm to attend
Thinking I could release the frustrations within
Knowing I was different but thought I could blend
Out of control my sanity continues to spin
Wanting to mask my reality without leaving a trace
Submitting to weakness getting lost in time and space
Slowly being separated from God's saving grace
Rationalizing that I could live two lives with only one face
Heading home along the river's bank
I stopped to give God praise and thanks
Realizing the party goers were out of my rank
Staying an longer would have depleted my spiritual tan
Rising early for church the next day
Wanting to be the first at the altar to pray
Having rehearsed many fluffy words to say
Full of excuses why I chose to stray
I received a different kind of invitation today
When I humbly knelt at the altar to pray
Not being adorned with an overly elaborate display
It was from the Father and Son saying , "Join us if you may!"
Qubilah Harden, June 3, 2009
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