The Red Earrings

Every Sunday is a guessing game as to what to wear and what jewelry matches best. So after deciding on my red satin jacket, I decided to wear these particular red hoop earrings. I bought them months back and have tried wearing them several times with my plain black scrubs while attending Cosmetology School. EVERY single time I wore these earrings, I ended up losing one out of my ear, only to find it had dropped in my drivers seat or by the grace of God fell into my scrub top.  I had a conversation with a fellow student whom I trusted with Spiritual matters of the heart. She would always say, "That's a spirit, throw them away". For what ever reason I chose to hang on to these red earrings. No matter what kind of backing I put on them, they still fell out of my ear.

 So here we are today, I thought I would give them one more try. If they fell out again, then I would simply throw them away...NO LOOKING BACK! As I sat in church and enjoyed the worship service, I would shake my head or gracefully put my hand up to my ear just to see if it was still there...there's hope yet! Church is over, I socialize, get in the car, head home. Out of the car, in the house, changing clothes, look in the mirror...LESSON LEARNED.

 ONLY ONE RED EARRING LEFT!

The moral of this story is: too often we have people in our lives who are just not meant to be there. They are simply not dependable. They serve no necessary purpose. They are a constant cause of aggravation. Often times, we try with all our might to rationalize why we need these people around. Then we find ourselves beating our self up for the decision we made. We find ourselves saying, "Maybe next time they will be better". If some one shows you who they are from day ONE, TAKE HEED! Be ever watchful! And know when the time is right to simply discard them from your life. 

So today, I am discarding my lone red earring.

Beauty & Power

When I first saw this horse, i was blown away. Even though I am a born and breed country girl, I am not truly a cowgirl. I guess the color of the horse stole my heart. It's blond! Case and Point.

Another thing that came to mind was how beautiful and powerful this animal is. And see how boldly it is looking at me. Not backing down or away from the fence. Actually it got closer and turned all the way around as I got closer to take pictures. Then I started to commune with God and realized that SO AM I! I used to be sooo absorbed in myself that I couldn't leave the house without make-up perfect and every hair in the right place. But after several incidences in my life that shall remain nameless, I realized that I was spending too much time on my physical beauty and letting my inner slip slowly. Granted, I have always been a nice, caring, considerate person. Always putting others needs before mine. Anyway, back to the point, after attending the Ladies Fellowship service at my church, I had and awakening. One of the speakers spoke on Power for Life. As she spit out the reference verses, my mind was in a tailspin as was Alice when she fell down the hole following the rabbit. My life has so much more potential than even I can realize. I have the POWER to speak life and death into every situation in my life. I have the POWER to keep my enemy under my foot. I have the POWER to do anything because of God's grace and mercy. And as long as I maintain my inner BEAUTY , I will have the POWER to win souls for Christ. Most of us get so caught up in trying to please those who don't matter. Who gave the gossip columnist, photographers in Hollywood, so on and so on the power to judge Who and What is beautiful? The last time I checked with the Bible, we ALL were made in GOD'S image. And God don't make no mess! Now the power in our lives comes when we learn to lean and depend on God and all the promises he has to offer.

Now before you get carried away with new found confidence, don't forget to read the small print: BY BELIEVING IN GOD AND THE RESURRECTION OF JESUS CHRIST, YOU WILL HAVE TO DENY YOURSELF AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDING TO THE WORD. AND EVEN THOUGH LIVING YOUR LIFE FOR CHRIST OFFERS MANY REWARDS, YOU WILL BE FACED WITH THE OCCASIONAL TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS. YOU WILL BE TEMPTED TO SIN AND TOTALLY TURN YOUR BACK ON CHRIST WHEN THINGS DO NOT FALL INTO PLACE AS YOU WANT THEM TO. THIS WILL ONLY BE TO TEST YOUR FAITH AND LOYALTY. JUST KNOW THAT THERE IS A BLESSING AND A LESSON IN EVERY STORM. SOMETIMES THERE MAY EVEN BE A SPANKING IN THE MIDST OF YOUR TRIALS. GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU.

Now, who can't find the beauty in all that power!!! AMEN!

The Masquerade Ball

I thought this picture was suiting because it is me in my most natural state. Stripped of make-up and jewelry and hair being done. I have gotten so used to hiding behind things not allowing my true beauty to shine. I wrote this poem during a time when I was struggling with my Christian identity. I have never lost the faith and wanted to turn back to the dark side, but I have just been faced with a lot of doubt and fear and frustrations. I see so many people living a worldly life: not going to church on the regular, not paying their tithes, going to the club or drinking and partying all night, and think they seem happy and successful. Living in nice homes with nice cars and always shopping. Just once in my life I would like to buy something with saving for weeks or moving bills around to manage. Anyway, I know the bible speaks against a life not centered around him and to be perfectly honest, i don't want to live any other way. I just get frustrated from tome to time. That's why I write poetry, to give reverence to God and let him know that I know and respect his word and will live my life accordingly. Hope all enjoy the poem.

I received an invitation today

With an overly elaborate design and display

Adorned with many regal words to say

"It's a party, join us if you may!"

I began expressing excitement and despair

Questioning what shoes and color dress to wear

What about make-up, who will do my hair?

Who will I see, who will be there?

Upon arrival I didn't feel as expected

Not liking the sight and sounds being projected

Appalled to the manner I was being subjected

An invitation I should have surely rejected

I didn't tarry in that company long

Even though the night was yet young

No longer wanting to dwell among those doing wrong

And be soaked in a stinch so sickenly strong

I thought there'd be no harm to attend

Thinking I could release the frustrations within

Knowing I was different but thought I could blend

Out of control my sanity continues to spin

Wanting to mask my reality without leaving a trace

Submitting to weakness getting lost in time and space

Slowly being separated from God's saving grace

Rationalizing that I could live two lives with only one face

Heading home along the river's bank

I stopped to give God praise and thanks

Realizing the party goers were out of my rank

Staying an longer would have depleted my spiritual tan

Rising early for church the next day

Wanting to be the first at the altar to pray

Having rehearsed many fluffy words to say

Full of excuses why I chose to stray

I received a different kind of invitation today

When I humbly knelt at the altar to pray

Not being adorned with an overly elaborate display

It was from the Father and Son saying , "Join us if you may!"

Qubilah Harden, June 3, 2009

Reflection: RESTORATION

After a very uplifting Friday night Ladies Worship service at my church, I realized I am so behind in my worship and meditation. One speaker spoke on Fellowship. She gave this background story that so opened my eyes to what I was doing wrong in my life. I realized that I don't fellowship with others often because I don't want to open myself to be be hurt or disappointed. I shut down and hide behind excuses and insecurities. But what I first need to do is fellowship more with God and he will open my heart and mind to fellowship more with others. In life there are no guarantees. As long as there is breath in the body and we work and shop outside the four walls of our home, we are destined to be faced with some sort of hurt and disappointment. No matter what the enemy has to throw at us to trip us up, God always got our backs. We have to first BELIEVE! We have to believe in the promises listed all throughout the Bible. We have to believe that we are worthy to receive the blessing that come along with these promises. We have to believe in our natural talents and abilities that are given by God to edify and exalt Him. The clock has struck midnight and the Masquerade ball is over! it's time to remove the mask and reveal your true beauty. Physical beauty is but for a moment, but true inner beauty last a lifetime!

It's been too long!

Ok blog friends, I know I have been away for a long time. I feel like I'm ready to get back to sharing bits of my life's frustrations so to hopefully get some insight from those more profound than myself. I recently lost my job and thought I would be cool. But in all honestly, my feelings are very hurt. To add insult to injury, other aspects of my life don't seem to be so cohesive either. One fine day my mind,body and soul will come together as one. I'm determined that my main focus is going to be on me. I feel if I get me together, then my house and home will fall into place. I believe the Bible when it says there is tremendous power in the tongue. We have the power to speak life and death. I choose to speak LIFE! I speak life on my son's life and well being and I speak life into my marriage.

Sign the petition!

I'M Back!

I know it has been a LONG time since my last post but I think I am back in the swing of things. I have just been trying to get my mind, body and soul to work together. Not an easy task, might I add. Anyway, I have been doing some soul searching while searching for my walking shoes!LOL! By the way, who ever said that exercise and dieting were fun or easy, LIED! I admit that beauty is pain and you have to sweat to appreciate the outcomes but it has been a hard road ahead. I have been discouraged but I am determined to not give up on the life God has so graciously given me. I am not at the goal I truly want to be but I am not stopping either. All I ask of my friends and family is that you keep me in your prayers. I have so many ideas about projects I want to do, that I wish I could bottle that mental energy and turn it into physical. I know the only true motivation should be LIFE but sometimes we all need some materialistic motivation. I want to leave you all with these words about my personal journey:

Tears will fill my eyes
As I seem farther from my prize
Trying to finish this race
And kick dust in failure's face
No one said this would be easy
Though I thought a bit breezy
I Can stop, wont stop
Got to reach the mountain top
Tears will fill my eyes
Because of my long awaited prize
That I have just won
By believing in the Son
And withstanding the test of time
Victory today is mine!